||[Sep. 30th, 2008|09:39 am]
Queer Trying to Conceive
Ok, so this is me. |
I am 29 years old, in a committed relationship with my girlfriend of 5 and 1/2 years. My name is Rose, her name is Jen. We originally had planned for Jen to be the birthmother. She is older than I am, just turned 36, and she felt strongly that she wanted to carry a child. I was like, sure, whatever, I've got more time if I decide I want to do that do.
SO. We started with that. We did four inseminations...but things weren't going as we had hoped. Jen's cycles were unpredictable. She saw a fertility specialist to find out why. Their conclusion was tht she's probably coming toward the end of her eggs...uncommon for someone her age, but not impossible. The bloodwork that they did at the fertility center also revealed that she is a carrier for the SMA gene. SMA is spinal muscular atrophy. A seriously debilitating and usually deadly disease. Its not something that sperm banks test for, so we would have had to select a donor, get him to come in for bloods for SMA testing, wait for those results...and if he was positive, then start all over again. 1 in 40 people has this gene, so it wouldn't be so weird to find someone who was also a carrier. And all this when it wasn't very likely that Jen would get pregnant anyway.
As the info started coming in, we started talking about me carrying our child. I was ambivalent at first. Even though I thought it was a good idea and I very much want to have children with my partner, I was scared too. But then we had some longer talks, and I realized my fears were based on some personal baggage, which I got over and started to get really psyched about carrying.
I've started charting, I'm regular with my ovulation. I've just gone to the gyn for some blood work and the usual exam, just to make sure everything is as it should be. We're going to start with IUI early next year (We'd like to try sooner, but a freelance job I was counting on fell through and effected the finances).
I'm really excited and impatient to start inseminating. Having been through all this before trying to get Jen pregnant its all been a long time since we started trying. I'm also nervous. I've gotten used to the ups and downs of trying...the ups and downs of pregnancy and then a baby will be a completely new, daunting, fascinating endeavor.